It feels as though I am living a double life. When I am around my friends and family, I am an extrovert. I can say anything and act the way I want to without much thought. However, when I am in the class or practice room, I turn into an introvert. I do not text or play on my phone unless I need the metronome app or to check the time. It severely bothers me when people interrupt me during a practice session or a professor's lecture. I am not one for conflict so I stay quiet and absorb my classmates' opinions if we get put into groups.
There are certain situations where I am an introvert with my friends, such as Dungeons and Dragons. There are seven players and the Dungeon Master, and I am the only female. There will be sessions that I sit there and only speak when it is my turn because my thoughts are not taken into consideration. I am also an introvert when I host a homework party or if there is a lot on my mind. I enjoy talking to my friends but it is a challenge to put my thoughts into sentences.
I wonder if being an ambivert is a good trait since I find myself becoming more wary of the topics I discuss so I do not aggravate my friends. In high school, I remember that I was an extreme introvert and only spoke when spoken to. Yes, I ate with other people but they never really talked to me. I eagerly counted down the classes until I could get on the van to go home to my family. When my mum and dad came home from work, I would tell them about my day and the gossip I heard. I realized something when reading Quiet: I was like a werewolf in the stories because I would be an introvert during the day and not even notice my turning into an extrovert at night. I feel that I am a little more on the introvert side on the ambivert spectrum, but I guess my friends could be the same way, but I just have not seen it yet.
I really dig the Matrix reference in your title. It gives a sense of struggle when deciding which "identity" to be when around certain people. I'm curious, you say in high school you looked forward to getting home and being able to open up there with your family. How has that changed in college? Unless you commute of course, are you fairly introverted at all times now?
ReplyDeleteI still talk to my family everyday, but now I enjoy going to classes and mingling with my classmates. I'm a lot more extroverted, but I still have introverted traits like not talking a whole lot because I'm thinking of all the ways to look at a debate, or I seclude myself in my bedroom when I need to get homework done.
ReplyDeleteIn response to your wondering if ambiversion is a good trait: I don't believe either extroversion or introversion (or a mixture of the two) are necessarily good or bad. I believe this world is in need of all personalities. I really enjoy where you compare your personality to a werewolf, because it really puts it into perspective. I am a little confused when you write, "When I am around my friends and family, I am an extrovert... when I am in the class or practice room, I turn into an introvert." Would you be confusing the thought of shy versus outgoing compared to introversion versus extroversion? Maybe your personality is just very good at fitting the situation. Just something to think about. I really enjoyed your post!
ReplyDeleteI love your title and reference, I understand the struggles of figuring out who you are as a person. I also don't think that either personality type is good or bad. I think the world needs more unique instead of common. Do you feel that you are coming into yourself as a person now that you are in college? I know that I am a decent mixture of both introvert and extrovert. I balance between the two given the circumstance. I was wondering you talk about introvert a lot and ambivert as well, but you never really talk about being a extrovert all that much. How do you relate to the extrovert side of the ambivert scale? I like the use of the metaphor of the werewolf and being one thing during the day and changing into a whole new person at night.
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