I’m an extreme introvert. I find the very idea of partying
to be very disgusting. I hate when the people around me are really loud, at any
time not just at night. I get even more annoyed when they then have the nerve to
bang on the wall when I’m listen to my music and my Laptop’s volume is over
50%. I often wonder if it’s more that I just hate people. Saying that would be
true enough, but in more ways than one I’m afraid
of them. You complain about not being able to ask people for help because
you don’t want to be a bother? Don’t make me laugh, I’ve had an ambulance called
because of the freak out I had because I couldn’t ask people that I wanted to be friends with for help. I
have to do a lot of muddling things over in my head, alone, because people are
just icky. I can talk to them one-on-one fine, but even in groups I get
cold-sweats. This all is beyond just introversion, I’m aware of that, and when
I was younger I was an extrovert. Something happened, that are now all lumped
into suppressed memories, and I did the 180 jump to the other end of the
spectrum. I learn best on my own, I despise group work, and I find my peers to
be scarier than any horror movie scene.
I was sneering while reading this
book, though that don’t mean that I did not enjoy reading it. Susan Cain has a
good writing style that is very easy to read as well as, well, enjoyable. In
any case, when Cain was talking about going to that Cheerleader Rally, or whatever
that massively expensive thing was, I was feeling the butterflies in my stomach
from the simple idea of being in such a place. And about Harvard. I cannot
stand the idea of being forced to be someone that I physically and mentally
cannot be.
You say you're afraid of people ? I say I don't like them. I don't like going to camps or anything that involves sharing with other people. I mostly am like that because of the things you mentioned like banging on walls and being really rude. I do give those of you who live on campus or with other a lot of props not something I could do at this time in my life. I'm sorry to hear you had to call an ambulance because you got so freaked. I've never had to call an ambulance but I can relate to how you feel on asking people for help. My job has really helped me come out of my shell and ask people for help. I've worked as a cna for medically fragile children for about three years now. So teamwork and asking for help is really important because if I need help and don't ask for it I could be costing someone their life. Working that type of job has definitely helped me to ask for help in school. I'm not afraid to reach and ask for a tutor, or ask someone in class something i don't understand etc. Even asking someone for simple directions to a destination was hard for me but I don't find it to being bad anymore. I definitely think you should work on that because you may stressed about it but trust if you don't ask you're so much more stressed. If you just ask for help you get the answer you need and you're more relieved and can continue faster with your task at hand. I Wish you luck. Have a good semester!
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