Wednesday, January 21, 2015
Me? I'm Just Me...
When I was younger my mom used to call me her "little social butterfly". My mom was a single mom who was working full time and getting her master's degree in psychology. She used to tell my brother and I that we were opposites, I was the 'social butterfly' and he was the shy one. And when I was younger I guess that she was right. But, as I grew up I realized that I would much rather sit alone during lunch in the cafeteria reading a book than sit with a group of friends laughing and talking. In the Introduction to Quiet, the author talks about how some introverts are so good at pretending to be an extrovert. I didn't realize it until I truly read this first two chapters. I think back to my first speech. I was in 8th grade and at my high school we had to present one speech every year that we had written in our English classes. I was so terrified. I remember being so nauseous and sweaty, my knees were shaking and when I got up to the podium I couldn't bring myself to look at any of my classmates. Now as the years went on I knew that I had to give the speech each year but I never got any better at giving them. The morning of the speech my mom used to tell me her favorite saying, "Feel the fear and do it anyway". I could write a wonderful speech and it looked great on paper, but in practice it was terrible. When I was in high school I was in every type of musical activity that I could get in: Marching Band, Concert Band, Concert Choir, The Yearly Musical, and I used to dance. I love music. But, when it came to performances, in order to get through them, I had to focus specifically on my music in front of me or on my friend's on stage with me. That is how I put on my "Extrovert Face", I focus on something else. Now, once I get to know someone I can be very open with them and laugh and talk. But, in order to feel comfortable in any given situation I need to be comfortable with the other person. When it comes to studying or working, I would absolutely prefer to work alone.
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I thought it was clever how your writing started out with your mother. Parents can identify who we are as individuals early on. Your use of examples was helpful to the readers. For example, the speech you presented in eighth grade. As I read the words, I was imagining how you must have felt every year. Did each year bring more or less anxiety? The quote you had mentioned in the writing was heroic. A little fear is good because it helps an individual get the task done. Now that you are in college, would you say your personality is the same as high school or different? Are there situations where you could be both?
ReplyDeleteI too prefer to read alone or in my arm chair when I have friends over. Sometimes we just need "me time" and a book is always a good way to escape from the people around us. Music is one of the best branches of art to express yourself and make contact with other people. I give you credit for performing in musicals since it is like a group speech, I know I would not be able to remember all the lines, songs, and choreography. But it seems that with the help of music and the musical, you have become more comfortable with meeting new people and expanding your comfort zone. I like how you focused on something else before you started to perform to overcome your stage fright. Also, being a little scared and nervous for a large project or a performance is a good thing because you still care about the quality.
ReplyDeleteYour mother must have been an inspiration to you. I absolutely love that quote. I think some people are naturally comfortable speaking in front of others and some people have to work really hard at it. I am sort of in the middle and it totally depends on how confident I am in the material that I have to present. I do feel that the more I get up there the easier it has been for me. I wonder why you prefer to work alone verses with others since it would seem based on your post your fear mainly revolves around speaking in front of a group?
ReplyDeleteI completely sympathize with you on the speeches. They seem to be inevitable and they are so much easier to write and prepare and you think you have it perfect and then you get up in front of people and everything you had prepared seems so much harder to execute well. I've always been like that though and it hasn't changed I see speeches listed on a syllabus and I get nervous just at the thought. Your mother's words of advice though is perfect, knowing the fear is inevitable but knowing you are capable of overcoming it. This book, like you said, also made me realize things about myself that I never really realized I had done. I'm not sure I caught it though, do you feel you are an Introvert or ambivert?
ReplyDeleteMy mom also has called me "her social butterfly." I too can also relate to preferring to read a book by myself at lunch because I love to read. In my blog entry I wrote about how I get nervous during speeches as well. I liked how you wrote about your mom and the quote she says. I feel that quote was a good example in your blog entry. I also like the way your blog entry flowed and the examples you gave in it. It was easy to read. My only question is the same as Katie's with do you feel you are an extrovert now or an introvert? Overall great blog entry though!
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