In J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Harry Potter’s the main
character who explores the never before seen Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and
Wizardry. There he meets his very best
friend and companion, Ronald Weasley. Ron
is often overshadowed by his friends and family. He feels he isn't living up to their standards
because of their many great accomplishments.
Ron proves he is trustworthy and a reliable friend and will never give
up on his best friends throughout the book.
In the darkest time of the book, Ron saved the day and earned respect
from all of the school for being a hero.
I used to hate Ron as a character. He bothered me when I was younger. That has changed and now it makes me happy to see that people are writing their essays about him. Your paragraph is good, I like it, but I don’t actually think you have a thesis statement. You underlined several sentences, but none of them really state what your overall point(?) is. I feel like you could do one of two things with this: either write a completely new thesis sentence that pretty much sums up all the underlined things neatly (while not getting rid of what you wrote because it’s fine), or you could edit the last two sentences of the paragraph so that they state the overall point better. Yay Ron!
ReplyDeleteI greatly enjoy that you chose to focus on Ron for your essay. I think that even though he is such a pivotal part of the story line, he is always "overshadowed" like you say. Ron has always been someone who captured my attention. I am the type of person that always roots for the underdog and Ron surely comes out of his shell and surpasses any predetermined expectations that a reader may have for him. I enjoy what you have so far, I must agree with the previous individual as well. I think that you have several wonderful points but you should reel them in and focus on something specific that can be argued upon. Overall, I think you have a solid foundation to build upon, revise your thesis statement and you will be golden!
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